Fears
by LiulfrKeahi
Summary: So I don't watch OUAT anymore. (too fed up with the writers) And I only get updates through my Tumblr dash. So this is my version of what I think could've, or should've really, happened before Mulan set for an "adventure" with Neal.
1. Fear of Rejection

So I don't watch OUAT anymore. (too fed up with the writers) And I only get updates through my Tumblr dash. So this is my version of what I think could've, or should've really, happened before Mulan set for an "adventure" with Neal.

Also, I just really wanted to write something of Mulan back-hugging Aurora (whoops spoilers).

And no, I still don't own OUAT or the characters. Just this plot right here.

* * *

Tired. She was just so tired. Why now all of a sudden was it so hard to control her emotions? Why now when she agreed to travel with the foreigner? Why now, her last day at Aurora's castle, when she knew this may be her last? Too many questions floated in her head. Shameful as a warrior, shameful to herself, Mulan had tried to shush these thoughts by drinking alcohol. But instead of quieting down, the questions only rumbled louder. Her feelings pounded in her mind and heart at even higher volumes. Mulan pinched the bridge of her nose. She was not drunk, but she consumed more than a decent enough of alcohol to feel a headache. She groaned. She knew she'd have an even worse one the next morning.

"Mulan? Is everything alright?"

Startled at Aurora's voice, Mulan immediately jumped up from her place on the bench.

"Princess! I mean, Queen Aurora…!"

She watched the elegant woman in front of her tilt her head to the side with a disapproving, but teasing smile.

"Haven't I told you to just call me by my name? After all we've been through, you should know I don't like to be disagreed with."

Mulan looked away and scratched the back of her head as she mumbled an apology. She glanced back at Aurora when she heard laughter.

"I guess you are a bit intoxicated since you didn't say sorry while bowing to me. Not that I want you to. Nor do I think you drinking is dishonorable."

Mulan smiled softly. The woman knew her well. Her smile faltered a bit when Aurora moved closer, into her personal space. Aurora's hand came up to her cheek. If she were a little more drunk, she would have believed that Aurora was caressing it.

"Are you alright? You are a bit noticeably red."

Mulan merely nodded. She did not trust her voice at the moment. Her voice would crack, no doubt. She noticed Aurora's look. Aurora was silently asking, again. Mulan took in a breath and let it out. Her hand reached up to hold Aurora's. At this point, she couldn't tell if the heat off of her face was because of Aurora's touch or because of the alcohol. Though albeit unwillingly, Mulan brought their hands down.

"I may have drank a little more than usual, but there's nothing to worry about. It is actually common for my face to flush easily after drinking."

"Is it?"

"I received a low tolerance for alcohol from my father's side."

Mulan's ears went nearly deaf at the sound of her own heartbeat which raced as Aurora giggled at her answer. She had come out to the garden for fresh air, hoping to sober up. But she felt getting drunk by Aurora's presence. Her feelings were getting harder to restrain.

"Aurora, it, may be best for you to go back inside." Mulan paused, thinking of a reason she could use without hurting Aurora's feelings or pride. "It's getting colder and I don't want you to get sick."

She expected for a quick reply, a snort even from Aurora. She expected Aurora to retort that she's perfectly fine. But instead, Aurora blushed in the most adorable shade of pink and agreed. Mulan watched, a slight dumbfounded, Aurora bid goodnight and walked out of the garden.

Maybe she did drink too much. Maybe she was drunk. Maybe she just didn't want to think anymore. Maybe that's why Mulan walked purposefully to Aurora. But when she saw Aurora turn her head by just a bit, she stilled in that split second. She recalled all of her turmoils earlier. All the reasons of restraint, especially the biggest one of them all.

_'What if she doesn't love me back?'_

She saw Aurora make a curious worried face and say her name. But all she could hear was her racing heart, thumping wildly. Taking in more shallow, shaky breaths, Mulan slowed her strides. She came to a stop as she hugged Aurora from behind. She burrowed her face in the crook of Aurora's neck. She took in more breaths, but more slowly this time. She allowed herself, for at least now, to feel. Aurora's familiar fragrance filled her mind. Aurora's warmth filled her body.

"I will miss you."

Mulan stated once she felt her heart returned to its normal, steady rhythm. She felt. She felt Aurora relax.

"As will I."

And with Aurora's response, Mulan clenched her eyes shut. Her emotions were overflowing. Her rationale had no control, not now. Mulan burrowed her face into Aurora as a last attempt to stop herself. She felt Aurora's hands squeeze her own, not in a painful way, but in a reassuring manner. It was the simplest gesture, but a powerful one - one that let Mulan's tears fall freely. And in that moment, Mulan let herself be Mulan. Not the warrior. Not the guardian. But Mulan, a woman who fell in love with a princess. She was Mulan who loved Aurora.


	2. Fear of Truth

Not really a sequel, but Aurora's POV of Fear of Rejection.

Decided to go with "truth" because the first episode was titled something about a truest believer. Truest - true - truth… You get the idea.

And nope, I don't own the show or its characters.

* * *

"Phillip, have you seen Mulan?"

Aurora asked. She watched him look up from polishing swords, ponder a bit, and answer the negative. She sighed. Where in dreams' names was that warrior? She would be leaving with Henry's father soon but nowhere around to cherish this last moment of theirs. Aurora put a hand over her heart, the very heart that Mulan had restored for her months ago, when she felt it clench at the thought of a last time with Mulan. Given the time they had spent together, the trust they had built, wouldn't Mulan want to spend the night with her? Aurora gazed out the window as if that would have answers. Much to her surprise, it did. Aurora inched closer to the window and pressed her face to the glass to get a better look. There was Mulan down in the gardens, alone.

"Aurora?"

The said queen felt more than hear her husband approach from behind. But she quickly muttered an apology and ran out the door of their bedroom. If he looked out the window, he would understand. 'He always did,' Aurora thought as she ran down the staircase.

Unsurprisingly, she was out of breath when she reached the garden gates. What did surprise Aurora, however, was the fact that Mulan hadn't noticed her. Usually the warrior was on top of her senses and could detect any life nearby. A skill that Aurora much appreciated during their time together. As Aurora hid behind a hedge to catch her breath, she recalled many memories Mulan had saved her by that very skill. Sometimes, she would notice and attack a threat, a wild wolf or, rarely, an ogre. Other times, Mulan would find Aurora when she'd be lost among the many tracks and trails. Just one call of her name, and her warrior would run towards her. To protect her. To ask her if she was alright.

Aurora smiled at the fondness of her memories. But quickly frowned, wondering why Mulan did not notice her now. Then it dawned upon Aurora. Was Mulan emotionally distraught? She remembered a time when she accidentally walked in on Mulan crying. It was the day Mulan had left home years before they had met. She caught Mulan gripping on to the last remnant picture she had of her parents. But even then, Mulan heard her approach her, whereas the said warrior hardly turned her head at the sound of Aurora panting.

Finally she had caught onto her breath, Aurora decided to move closer to the warrior and ask. What was worrying her? Would there be anything she could do?

"Mulan? Is everything alright?"

She would've laughed at how startled and uncharacteristically Mulan acted had Aurora not been so worried about Mulan's state. She mockingly chastised Mulan for using formal terms with her, again. But then, Mulan apologized by merely turning her head to the side. Mulan never did such ever since they lived here at the castle. Aurora then noticed the slight smell of alcohol and the flush of Mulan's skin. She giggled. Was the warrior drunk?

"I guess you are a bit intoxicated since you didn't say sorry while bowing to me."

Aurora said with a hand over her mouth, trying to stop herself from giggling any more. Poor Mulan looked incredibly flustered.

"Not that I want you to. Nor do I think you drinking is dishonorable."

She quickly added. She couldn't stress how many times that she doesn't see Mulan dishonorable in any way, but that stubborn warrior had a strict discipline on herself.

Perhaps it was the drunk atmosphere, but Aurora felt bold. She stepped closer to Mulan and touched Mulan's cheek, caressing it a bit. It was warm. As warm as the fire they had lit up during their camping days. As warm as Mulan herself when she kept herself nearby during Aurora's nightmares.

"Are you alright? You are a bit noticeably red."

"I may have drank a little more than usual, but there's nothing to worry about. It is actually common for my face to flush easily after drinking."

Mulan had held her hand and brought it down to their sides. Aurora dully noted the jolt she felt and continued the conversation.

"Is it?"

"I received a low tolerance for alcohol from my father's side."

Before she could stop herself, Aurora giggled once more. She didn't believe Mulan was drunk, but she wasn't as tense as usual. Aurora liked to see open Mulan again. It had been so hard to get the warrior to open before. She learned that it was about trust and meant a lot for the warrior. She took in pride that she won Mulan's trust till Mulan felt distant again ever since… Since they reunited with Phillip.

"Aurora, it, may be best for you to go back inside."

Slightly surprised, Aurora looked up to Mulan. Her musings on their relationship and Phillip were caught short.

"It's getting colder and I don't want you to get sick."

At that very statement, Aurora couldn't help blushing. It wasn't much of a state of endearment, but coming from Mulan, no other romantic sayings could make her heart flutter as such. Aurora gave a shy smile before she lowered her head a bit. She looked back up into Mulan's eyes. They were a bit dazed, but still shining as bright as stars.

"Good night, Mulan."

Aurora said, slightly biting into her lower lip. That smile of hers would not leave her face. Trying to calm herself, or rather her heart, she walked towards the gate. Without thought, she toyed a bit with her engagement necklace. In the shortest of moments, Aurora realized, that maybe, she developed feelings for Mulan. But she was married to a wonderful man. And Mulan was leaving, tomorrow. Mulan… Wait. Was that the sound of someone else walking?

Aurora might have missed the sound of Mulan walking had she not been thinking about the warrior. She stopped and looked back. Mulan was determined. Determined about something… or someone.

_'Does she see me the way I see her?'_

But then, when Aurora called her name. Something went across Mulan's mind, Aurora noticed. Hesitance? Nervousness? Fear?

Still trying to function her own emotions, her body reacted slowly. Too slow. But it didn't matter. She didn't get to reach out to Mulan but, Mulan reached out to her.

"I will miss you."

She heard Mulan whisper. Instantly, Aurora relaxed into Mulan's embrace. She had to tell Mulan, before tomorrow came.

"As will I."

Aurora replied as softly as she could, not wanting to break the moment they shared. She held Mulan's hands in her own and squeezed reassuringly as if to confirm her statement. Then suddenly, she felt Mulan tremble. And she felt something warm on her shoulder. Something warm was flowing down. Mulan was crying. Aurora blinked as rapidly as she could, trying to stop her own tears from falling.

Mulan was leaving tomorrow. And Aurora believed her heart would be as well.


End file.
